She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize