u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
