My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
