I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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