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Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
