Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
