It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize