It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
