we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize