the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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