it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
