no, he came in my armpit
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
