I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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