Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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