when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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