I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
