You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
