i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
