I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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