just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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