so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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