i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
