My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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