There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize