apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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