He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
