i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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