I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
