Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
