You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
