I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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