I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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