Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
