If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize