considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
