Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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