Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
