Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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