Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
