i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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