it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
