And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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