Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize