To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
