i just sent this text using only my big toe
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
