Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
