So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
