I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
