i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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