I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
