i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
