that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
