dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
