we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize