Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you would pick up someone in the library
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
