okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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