So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
