we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
