What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
