You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
