So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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