first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize