It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
