your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize