now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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