quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He better not be in your backpack
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize