pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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