That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
